CTK in Asia

Not quite the denouement I was hoping for

2008-12-22T04:52:00.006-05:00

I´ve spent the past week on Koh Tao, or "Turtle Island".

named for the shape of the island, not after a dinky sculpture

It´s located off of the Southeast coast, in the Gulf of Thailand, about a 2 hour boat ride from Koh Samui. It´s a beautiful place.

I spent my first day here exploring the island a bit, and then, after discovering that the entire island is devoted to diving, decided to spend my last week of vacation doing just that. I went out the next afternoon with a very small group, just a young woman from Denmark and our French divemaster, Fred. Despite my general disdain for cheese-eating surrender monkeys, Fred was a good guy, and he seemed very happy with his life as a young divemaster on Koh Tao. Anyhow, we made our way out near the other boats

and did our descent. The visibility wasn´t great - apparently it´s been really windy here lately, which kicks up the waves, which, in turn, kicks up sand and whatnot and makes the water a bit murky. I was having trouble equalizing on the way down - getting my ears to pop - and kept having to stop and ascend for a bit before trying again. It was really bothering me, and even painful at times. Finally, I got it taken care of, although I periodically felt pain in my ears when ascending or descending. The dive was great, despite the visibility, and we saw a lot of great tropical fish and corals.

Later that evening, however, my right ear felt like it was either waterlogged or had wadded up cotton stuffed into it, and my hearing was off. When it hurt the next morning, I decided to take the next day or two off from diving. I had developed a cold as well, so I thought some time off would do me good. I ran into Fred again the other day, and he assured me that I wasn´t missing much due to unseasonably bad conditions. I mentioned my ear situation to him, and he recommended that I pay a visit to the local clinic, affiliated with Bangkok Hospital.

if that slogan doesn´t inspire confidence, I don´t know what does

An hour and about $50 later, I had a handful of prescription drugs and a diagnosis of mild to moderate middle ear trauma in both ears, along with strict orders to stay out of the water for several days. Oh, and my cold had developed into a full-blown throat infection as well. So it´s been a fun week.

Lest ye think I´m complaining about a week on a tropical island, let me assure you that I´ve thoroughly enjoyed spending lazy afternoons reading in my hammock on the front porch of my bungalow

while listening to the sound of the waves lapping at the beach about 10 yards away

and then wandering over to the beachfront bar next door for a sunset happy hour

before strolling into town to chat up some of my fellow travellers over food and drink. The crowd here is considerably younger than anywhere else I´ve been on this trip. Apparently the famous Full Moon Party on Koh Phangan was just last week and all the Eurokids decided to come here afterwards.

Two other good things to note about this week - first, I finally gave in and got myself a Thai massage (a legit one, not the kind that gives you crabs). When I walked into the joint, I saw a handful of tiny Thai girls and thought "silly girls, you can´t hurt me." But then the Mamasan who owned the place stepped out from the back room and ordered me to lie down on my stomach. She´s either related to former wrestling great Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, or is Jimmy himself after getting one of those $1650 sex change operations advertised in the Bangkok Post. I don´t recall all that she put me through, but at one point she was behind me and had me in a double chickenwing, shaking me violently from side to side, as my arms flailed about helplessly. During the course of the abuse I almost bit through my tongue trying to stifle screams of pain. But after an hour, I felt pretty damn good. A round of applause for Ms. Snuka.

Also, like the rest of Southeast Asia, this place has excellent examples of Engrish.

So that´s it. That´s the trip. One helluva month. Tomorrow (Tuesday) morning I catch a 930 boat back to Koh Samui, then a flight to Bangkok, and late tomorrow night back to the good ol´ US of A via Tokyo. Thanks for reading, and Merry Christmas.

CTK OUT

Bangkok

2008-12-15T07:12:00.003-05:00

What happens in Bangkok stays in Bangkok.

I'm off to Koh Tao tomorrow for a week of diving and relaxing on the beach. I need a vacation from my vacation. I'm worn out.

Chiang Mai

2008-12-13T03:44:00.009-05:00

This place is great, and my time here started off with a bang. I checked into my (very nice) hotel and wandered around town. I found a great used bookstore and picked up 6 or 8 novels I'd been meaning to read. I kept walking down the street and decided to stop in a bar for a bottle of Singha. Before long I found myself playing Jenga with the waitstaff.

Because, hey, who doesn't love Jenga?

Jenga gave way to billiards. These girls were total pool sharks and kicked my ass.

Then things got weird. Someone ordered plates of fried bugs. I believe I tried some but my memory of this part of the evening is a bit fuzzy.

Then some random elephant showed up.

Then I woke up my hotel room.

Yesterday I spent the day out in the mountains. I hung out with some elephants

floated down the river

climbed up to a waterfall

and ended the day with some whitewater rafting. Not a bad day's work. The jungle is beautiful.

And earlier today I took another cooking class. Like the last one, it started with a trip to the market.

My steamed fish in banana leaf, yellow curry chicken, and chicken cashew were all very good.

The instructors weren't as funny as Shecky Nguyen, but then he wasn't as cute as they were.

Also, I'm pretty sure I discovered the inspiration for Van Halen's "Ice Cream Man".

Hanoi/Halong Bay

2008-12-13T03:29:00.008-05:00

The ride into Hanoi from the airport was depressing. The city seemed to be as chaotic and sterile as Saigon, only more run-down, polluted & depressing. Once the cab turned into the Old Quarter neighborhood downtown, however, things seemed to pick up a bit. The motobikes and suicidal traffic continued, but there seemed to be a bit of flavor to the area. So after checking into my hotel, I grabbed my camera and wandered around for a bit.

There's a big lake in the middle of the Old Quarter - Hoan Kiem - with a historic temple on a small island that you can visit via a footbridge.

I stopped in one of the lakeside cafes for a beer and some people-watching. My table had a nice view.

Crossing the streets is very much like a live-action game of Frogger. People just wait for a slight break in traffic, then walk into the street and hope/expect that cars/motobikes/etc will just swerve out of their way.

Halong Bay is kind of like Angkor - it's an incredible must-see-before-you-die destination that can't be fully appreciated unless you're there in person. We actually went to Bai Tu Long Bay, just northeast of Halong Bay, which has much less boat traffic than Halong Bay. In fact, the company that ran my trip has an exclusive license from the Vietnamese government (*cough* bribes *cough*) to operate in Bai Tu Long, so we only saw 1 other boat in 2 days.

Our boat was fantastic - a replica 17th century Chinese junk, swank, and staffed with 9 people for our group of 4 people. The food was ridiculous. Seven course meals? Try nine for lunch and ten for dinner. (No, I have not been exercising, so yes, I have packed on some pounds during the trip.) We did some kayaking, called it an early night after dinner, and visited a local fishing village the next morning.

The adventures continue

2008-12-09T23:32:00.004-05:00

I thought I'd write a few words while looking for ways to kill the next 9.5 hours in the Hanoi airport. My flight to Bangkok was cancelled and the next available one is at 9 pm (it's 11:30 am local time). And that's too late to catch a connecting flight to Chiang Mai, as I had planned. I hope my Chiang Mai hotel gets my email indicating that I'll be arriving a day later than anticipated.

Anyhow, I was skimming my earlier posts and realized I'd painted a rather idyllic picture of things here. The reality is very much a mixed bag. I've seen incredible sights, eaten wonderful food, and met all kinds of warm, friendly and interesting people. I've been to places I'd go back to again in a heartbeat. I'm halfway through my trip and I've thoroughly enjoyed it.

But there also are a lot of things that are unpleasant or difficult to see. Shantytowns outside of the cities where people live in makeshift homes out of wood scraps and sheets of plastic tarp. Toothless women carrying burdensome loads of fruit & vegetables on their backs. Schoolgirls and one-legged men on crutches roaming the streets and hawking kitsch to any Westerner they see. Garbage strewn along the sides of roads. Countless stray, mangy dogs looking for any scrap of edible garbage they can find. Chaotic traffic, with neverending motoscooters belching out clouds of grey-blue filth. Smog in some cities that makes it difficult to see buildings that aren't at all far away. These last two things have given me a hacking cough for the past few days.

So, like anyplace, this region has its share of good and bad. Thankfully, the pendulum seems to be moving in the right direction. For years many areas in Southeast Asia had no regard for the environment whatsoever - and it shows. But local governments, tour agencies, farmers and fishermen are beginning to realize the importance and value of their natural surroundings and are taking steps to protect them. Development in a lot of cities seems to be providing opportunities that didn't before exist. There are plenty of reasons for optimism in the face of the ugliness.

One last thing, following up on the mangy stray dogs - on the way from Hoi An to the Da Nang airport the other day I saw a dog on the side of the road wearing a freaking necktie. I swear I am not making that up. I thought it was a shredded leash remnant or something, but as we got closer it became clear that he was wearing a tie. I don't know who decided to spruce him up like that, but plaudits to them. It's a sharp look. I need to look into some neckwear for the lads.

Okay, that didn't take much time. I've still got another 9 hours to kill. At least it's past noon, that makes it officially acceptable to have a beer. I'll post Hanoi & Halong Bay updates when I can.

Hoi An

2008-12-07T07:29:00.008-05:00

Beautiful little town on the river with neat colonial architecture, beach and Cham ruins nearby, and about a brazillion tailors that will make you a custom-fit suit for a fraction of what it would cost in the states. People actually vacation here just to get themselves a new wardrobe. I gave in and had some SWEET silk Illini loungewear made. Orange smoking jacket w/navy trim & belt, navy pants. Just like Hef, my fellow Illini. All I need is a brandy snifter in one hand and my remote in the other. The people in Hoi An were terrific, and I met a lot of cool people from other countries as well - not many Americans, however. Australia and Germany were well-represented (as has been the case in other places I've been as well), along with France, Denmark, Sweden, Britain, the Netherlands, Canada, and Peru.

One of my favorite incidents took place over a bowl of Cao Lau, a fantastic dish unique to Hoi An. The hotel across the street from the restaurant where I was eating had just put up a Christmas tree. My waitress was standing near me and started singing "zingle bells". She only knew the first two lines and then hummed the rest. I started singing it along with her, and she clapped and ran off to the bar. She returned with a pen and paper and asked me to write down the lyrics so she could learn the rest of the words. I did so, and when she kept getting tripped up on "one horse open sleigh", I drew her a picture of said horse and sleigh. She went over and over the song at least a dozen times, then went out to a Brit couple sitting on the front patio and started to sing it to them. Poor girl, the husband didn't want to hear it. Laughing, he told her to knock it off, as he hated the song. She looked at me for support, and I told her to keep singing. So she finished, and then sang it a second time just to rub it in. She then taped my scribbles on the wall behind the bar.

Anyhow, it's a pretty town:

This was in an excellent bar/restaurant called Before-n-Now. Dollar Tigers, good food, and a playlist heavy on Led Zeppelin and Johnny Cash.

Making a living on the river

Sometimes the tides messed things up a bit

I also took a wonderful cooking class. We made our own fresh rice paper, spring rolls, Vietnamese pancakes with shrimp & pork, and eggplant & veggies in a clay hotpot. The class started with an early morning trip to the local market:

Some sort of insect-based snack. I think I heard someone say they were some kind of bee.

Yikes!

Mmmm...eels

Our instructor. Not only a good chef, he was also very funny. I called him Shecky Nguyen.

My Vietnamese pancake was the BOMB

Siem Reap

2008-12-07T06:48:00.008-05:00

As I mentioned earlier, I really liked Siem Reap. We made a nightly habit of hitting the Banana Leaf Cafe for a few pints of Tiger...

...and then wandering down Pub Street or the alley alongside of it to find a place for dinner.

After the restaurants start closing, this area is rife with prostitutes offering "mah-sage". Watch out for the ones with the deep voices and/or adam's apples. Unless, of course, that's your thing.

Tuk-tuk, the transport of choice

Grilling my ostrich (not a euphemism, but it should be)

Horrible and disturbing

Once again, pictures won't do the ruins of Angkor justice, but here are a few for your viewing pleasure.

Bonus - Angkor has monkeys!

Stupid Hotel Internets

2008-12-04T10:23:00.006-05:00

My horrid luck with uploading photos onto local computers continues, so until I find a way to rectify that situation I will leave you with a photo you're sure to enjoy.

Now for a brief update:

Siem Reap
Absolutely fantastic. If my flight out had been cancelled and I had been stranded another week or so, I would have been quite happy. The people were incredibly warm and friendly, the town was a lot of fun with a great, laid-back vibe, and of course the temples at Angkor were spectacular. Much more so than words or pictures could ever convey.

Saigon

Not a fan. Had a nice evening swapping stories with John from Brisbane and his Thai wife Don at the bar down the street from my hotel, but I'm glad I didn't spend more than a night.

Hoi An

Early reviews are very positive. I flew into Da Nang without a hotel reservation and drove into town with a couple of fun guys from Denmark. The driver recommended a small place just outside of the Old Town, and it was a good choice. This is the place to visit if you want custom-tailored garments; I may buy a suit or two while in town (although as a Club Fed employee, that may not be the most efficient use of resources...). More importantly, it's a beautiful little town, right near the beach, with mountains and significant historical ruins nearby. And it's a great food town.

I'm thinking 3 nights here, maybe get a dive in, then a night or 2 in Hanoi before doing an overnight boat trip in Halong Bay. By that time, hopefully the Thai situaion will have been cleared up and I'll hit that on the back end (that's what he said).

Catching Up

2008-12-01T03:31:00.007-05:00

I can't upload pics at the moment, but I'm due for an update.

Chris Befriends Yet Another Stranger in a Strange Land

After a day touring the downtown sights in Kuala Lumpur, I took the monorail (MONORAIL!) to Chinatown and hit the Petaling Street market. I meandered my way through the maze of crap-hawkers, and then stopped for dinner at a small outdoor stall/cafe. $1.50 for a fantastic plate of fried noodles (if I keep eating all these fried noodles I'm going to turn into a fried noodle) that beat the pants off of my $25 hotel restaurant buffet the night before (eh, I hadn't eaten all day and was feeling lazy).

I then hit a reggae bar around the corner, where I struck up a conversation with a gregarious young Namibian man named... well, I don't remember his name, but that's not terribly important. He was a nice guy, eager and brimming with idealism, and a tireless advocate for the notion that the world has become "one global village". Our conversation eventually turned to the US election and Obama, which led to a stirring oratory on his part about making the world (er, global village) a better place. By the end of the night, I had unwittingly signed on to be part of a three-person team that was going to change everything for the better - me, Obama, and my new best buddy from Namibia, whats-his-face. (He was so damn earnest, I just didn't have the heart to rain on his parade.) So relax, everything will be just fine. We're the Change Triumvirate, and we're taking care of it. Also, I have a free place to stay next time I'm in Namibia.

Misadventures in Air Travel

The first shuttle bus to the airport from my hotel left at 5:30 am, and I had a 7 am flight to Siem Reap. A van showed up around 5:40, and as I started toward it a gruff Aussie asked me which airport I was going to. "Whaddya mean 'which airport'?" He just cackled and got in the van. Before I could press him for further details, a hotel employee told me that if I was going to the airport, I did not want to get in that van; the airport shuttle would arrive shortly. After several more minutes, another van arrived. I was reassured that yes, this was the correct van for me, and so I hopped in.

Upon arriving at the airport, I looked for the Air Asia check-in counter. I saw a ticket sales counter, but no check-in. I stopped by the information desk and asked where I could find the Air Asia check-in counter, and I was told that I could find it at the OTHER AIRPORT. 20 kilometers away. And it was now after 6 am.

After scrambling for a cab, I got to the correct airport around 6:20. The check in lines were ridiculously long. It took me a few minutes to get my bag x-rayed, and once I got into the check-in area I saw a sign that all check-in counters close 45 minutes prior to departure. It was now 6:30. My flight was at 7. I frantically asked an airport employee which counter was handling check-in for the Siem Reap flight, and I was directed to one with no line whatsoever. Because, of course, it had closed 15 minutes earlier. I begged and pleaded with the attendant to cut me a break, told her my story about being taken to the wrong airport, etc., and finally she broke down and checked me in. After slapping a tag on my luggage she handed me my boarding pass and said "RUN!"

And run I did - straight to the painfully long line to get through the passport check. Thankfully it moved fairly quickly, and after I was through I ran once again, this time straight to another long line for security. And this line was not moving at all. My flight was leaving in 10 minutes. Thankfully, Dame Fortune smiled upon me yet again, as a second security line opened up and I was able to get through in short order. I got to my gate and discovered there had been a slight holdup, and they were just then about to begin boarding.

Long story short, I managed to catch my flight. I might not have been in such a frenzy to make it had there been another flight later in the day, but this is a once-a-day route. What an adventure. I felt like a contestant in the Amazing Race. Bonus: no fewer than 6 - SIX - times during the flight did I hear a bad Asian cover band's version of Billy Ocean's "When the Going Gets Tough" over the airplane's speakers.

Angkor

This deserves its own post later on, but I'm not sure words or pictures will do it justice. Absolutely incredible. I spent yesterday afternoon there by myself and most of today with my friend Todd, who's in town as part of his own Asian adventure. We'll see some more temples tomorrow morning and then we're off to Lake Tonle Sap in the afternoon to visit a floating village and some nature reserve-type-areas. After that, my plan was to head to Saigon via the Mekong, but I'm still debating that.

And now I'm off to take a much needed shower and do some laundry. I'm down to my last pair of clean undies.

Greetings from Kuala Lumpur

2008-11-28T21:07:00.002-05:00

My flight to BKK was indeed canceled. Thankfully, I was able to swap flights and hotel rooms at no cost.

I'd love to tell you all about KL, but I'm afraid I haven't seen much of it yet. I spent most of the day yesterday sleeping off a ridiculous hangover. Thursday night was one of the more surreal nights of my life - I won't go into detail, but the key ingredients were a middle-aged Japanese businessman named "Teddy", hours of karaoke, an 80-lb. prostitute, and copious amounts of scotch.

I'm going to pick up my original itinerary beginning in Siem Reap, Cambodia, where I'll meet up with my friend Todd to explore Angkor for a few days. This morning's flight was full, so I'm heading out early tomorrow morning. I just checked out of my hotel, will spend the day exploring KL, and then spend the night at an airport hotel.

One final Tokyo note - the Tsukiji fish market is a sight to behold, as long as you're able to avoid being run over by various trucks, scooters, and the ubiquitous motorized dollies maneuvered by what appear to be beer kegs with steering wheels. Sushi at 5:30 AM? Oh yes. And one of the best meals I've ever had.

24 hours in Tokyo

2008-11-26T06:21:00.008-05:00

Note to self: Get some local currency before hitting the next town.

After 12 or 14 hours on an airplane and 2 hours on a bus, I found myself stumbling through the world's busiest subway stop during rush hour, dissheveled and likely odorous, with a fully-loaded backpack and and zero yen in my pocket. I knew where I wanted to go - the Higashi-Shinjuku station - but the metro ticket machine didn't accept credit or debit cards, and all I had were dollars. A kind subway attendant directed me to the nearest bank, but much to my chagrin the ATM wouldn't accept either of my cards. Thankfully, the taxis are equipped to handle clueless foreigners, and with a swipe of my debit card I was able to get to my hotel.

Which, by the way, didn't cash travelers checks. C'est la vie, I thought, tonight's festivities would be brought to me by Visa and/or Mastercard. After getting cleaned up, I set out into the drizzly evening to rustle up some grub. Unfortunately, most places I walked past - or into - didn't take credit or debit cards, either. I managed to find a Korean joint that did (and dinner was quite good), but I ran into the same cash-only problem this morning when out for a stroll at dawn in search of coffee. Imagine the rollercoaster of emotions I felt when I saw this:

but was then denied the joy of their wholesome lard & sugar goodness simply because I didn't have any yen.

I don't know what kind of backwater these savages live in, but any place where Mister Freaking Donut doesn't accept credit cards is a place I will never, ever call home.

OK, more highlights (it got much better):

It turns out my hotel the first night was near somewhat of a red light district (no, I did not plan it that way)

Besides the clubs there were plenty of *love hotels* with both short-term and long-term rates

Remember to work on your 3 L's

Took a lunchtime stroll through a peaceful garden oasis in the middle of the city

Shibuya = Times Square on steroids

This is the greatest store in the world - Hot & Spicy Spam next to faux leopardskin fur boots next to Brylcream next to *ahem* marital aids next to flat-screen TVs next to R2D2 shampoo dispensers next to... you get the idea

It's good to see Tommy Lee Jones getting a paycheck

I don't know where I'll wind up tomorrow, as apparently there's a bit of a situation at BKK at the moment. Not to worry - when the going gets tough, the tough make lemonade. Or something like that.

So apparently strange things are afoot in Bangkok...

2008-11-25T18:10:00.002-05:00

I'm in Tokyo for another night, following the action and drafting up plans B, C and D.

Day 1 has been a comedy of errors thus far, I'll try to update later.

Packing Day

2008-11-22T13:57:00.006-05:00

The lads are intrigued

My papers are in order

Reading materials (it's a LONG flight)

Drugs & plugs

Fish sauce I'm reintroducing to its natural Thai habitat

Rough Itinerary*

2008-11-20T19:39:00.018-05:00

* very much subject to change

Tokyo

to

Bangkok

to

Chiang Mai

to

Luang Prabang

to

Siem Reap

to

Saigon

to

Hoi An

to

Halong Bay

to

Phuket